one virtual insanity. full of sins. in a saint way.

And the horizon is blue.

2005-07-19T21:10:00.000+07:00

"..it was the strangest start.."

I wonder how long I've been under the sea.. hey, I'm back. I mean, for now. things went crazy back then. but then there'll still tomorrow (I hope) for stories to be told.

jadi selama gw absen beberapa tahun ini (sampe taunan ga sih?), gw ngga kemana2, cuma bergulat dengan kejamnya dunia, kecepatan cahaya, dan waktu yang menggilas scara menggila. I was like a total stranger to the world since I knew nothing in the beginning. and still know nothing in the end. cuz I can't remember anything.

but nothing happened actually. I mean, I guess so.

instead of watching TV, I prefer travelling with my frens, going round the town, searching for places, making photos, trusting somebody new, hearing things, watching dazzling movies, growing trees, keeping a lot of faith to myself, trying to speak up, talking to the phone for hours (and still not getting any resolutions), or even singing some lullabies to myself at 3 am.. I'm still looking forward to dance in the moonlight.

from all of the words I've been hearing, I realize how bad I am now. I want to go back from the beginning. I like to see myself crawling for the light. just me, myself, and I. isn't nice to know that you are strong, in every parts of your story, your life?

yeah, I guess it is since I am not strong enough. since I will tell you my angst..

today, after I read my fren's autobiography at school, I was forced to think about something I dislike. so this is my problem: I can not remember my childhood. I'm not doing well at this thing. and it annoys me. I hate the fact that I can't remember my OWN childhood.
in her autobiography, she stated things like she felt great that she was able to remember things in her life, whether good or bad, and thus, by doing it herself, she didn't trouble other people by asking stories or something.
and I feel bad. it hurts me a lot.
because I know I couldn't do it.
I'll never be able.
so I hurt other people. I will always hurt others cuz I will never remember.
but what can I say? even if I want to force myself, nothing will come out from my mind.
I do want to feel the memory. not lose it every time I try to remember. it's not that I wanted to trouble other people when I asked about those lost memories. because if I could, I would have been trying harder. but I am not perfect. it's just my weakness.

guess I am stupid then.

well, I like the idea that I am stupid. I want to say, "thanks, I appriciate what you've done to the world and the rest of human being, too," to that person. well, they've gotta be perfect, right? and they do things to the world, make a big change, be a superstar, or just have a brilliant personality. who cares? I think, sometimes, stupid is more honest.

perhaps because I am lonely, I tend to think that I am hurted. people who make fun of me, perhaps, are just as lonely as I am. but I guess, they have beautiful faces, harmonic families, perfect scores, and amazing personalities.
well, it still hurts me. I don't care if they are perfect. I am selfish. and? are they not? they're just doing it in a clean way, a polite way. I respect it, I appriciate it. but I won't try to say I am not hurted.
say I am shallow, whateva. perhaps you just don't know how it feels not to be perfect.

and when nothing comes in perfect package, I will try to fix myself. sometimes, you have to sacrifice in order to make your perfection.

and when my own perfection creates chaos, I will be crying tears. sometimes, I have to lose in order to win.

but when tears turn into the sea of memories, eventhough I can not remember well, eventhough I am not strong enough,
"..I promise you I will learn from my mistake.."

My sickness today..

2005-02-03T14:05:00.000+07:00

whaddup with da world?
there's something inside of me
and it feels somewhat like this song...

Your body's warm but you are not
You give a little not a lot
It could be love until we kiss
You're all I want but not like this
I'm watching you disappear but you, you were never here

It's only your shadow, never yourself
It's only your shadow, nobody else
It's only your shadow filling the room
Arriving too late
And leaving too soon

Your body gives but then pulls back
The sun is bright, the sky is black
Can only be another sign
I cannot keep what isn't mine
You left your love linger on, but you, you were almost gone

It's only your shadow, never yourself
It's only your shadow, nobody else
It's only your shadow filling the room
Arriving too late
And leaving too soon

How can I tell if you mean what you say?
You say it so loud that you sound far away
Maybe I have just a glimpse of your soul
Or what that your shadow I saw on the wall?
I'm watching you disappear but you, you were never here
("Shadow"--Brit)

nothing else I can say today.
I'm sick again.

Why Can We Talk It Over?

2005-01-26T22:19:00.000+07:00

whaddup with da world?

kepada ia yang memandangku nanar
kepada ia yang keras berkata padaku
kepada ia yang berbalik daripadaku
kepada ia yang tak kubisa baca pikirannya
kepada ia yang telah menemani separuh usiaku
kepada ia yang mungkin tlah lelap dalam mimpi
kepada ia yang diagungkan oleh mereka yang ingin tahu
kepada ia yang tak kumengerti
kepada ia yang benci kekuatan untaian kata
kepada ia yang tidak percaya kemurnian cinta
kepada ia yang jauh, menutup telinga

cintai dia, Allah
cintai dan tegarkan ia
cintai dan bahagiakan ia
cintai dan sinari ia
cintai dan tempatkan lagi senyumannya
cintai dan rendahkan lagi suaranya
cintai dan tuluskan pandangannya
cintai dia yang kusayangi
cintai dia, Allah

jika ada kata yang pantas untuk malam gelap ini
bulan purnama pasti akan menyinarinya
hanya teruntuk maaf
maaf yang belum terucap hari ini
maaf yang mungkin ditunggu
maaf yang mungkin melarikan senyuman
maaf yang mungkin meninggikan suara
maaf yang menjauhkan hati itu

tidak bisa kuucap secara langsung
karena jarak dan keterlambatan kesadaran
karena ego dan hati yang terpeciki
masih tidak ingin kukeluarkan di depan bola matanya
sebelum tersenyum lagi kekuatannya

namun sebelum terlambat
sebelum ruh ini terbang dari raga ini
jikalau aku memang dipanggilNya dalam tidurku nanti

"maaf karena ketidakhadiranku"
dan
"maaf karena keterlambatanku"

semoga cinta tidak berada jauh dari hati
semoga cinta belum pergi dari aliran darah
semoga cinta aluni mimpinya dan mimpiku
semoga cinta kasihi jiwa raganya
semoga cinta sayangi jalinan tahun ini
semoga cinta cintai kami

"maaf sayang ini tidak bisa pergi"
namun
"maaf aku masih inginkan juga maaf darinya"

SOS

2005-01-24T13:16:00.000+07:00

whaddup with da world?

it's not going to be fun
but it's a hell of a crime
I'm still doing it, though

see, I thought I'd go away
but still...
you can still see me around
because..
I dunno
perhaps..
I'm going crazy

there are unexplainable things,
unreasonable thoughts,
and unbelievable sights
for an unintended one

if dreams meant to be vanished,
then where should I go for a shelter?
wish you were here
just to make me realize
how fragile things can be

are you in?

somehow,
we're all connected
and there goes,
still people search for a place
where they belong
like I do

so..
hey, come back here!!
hurry!!
safe me!!
I need you to rush
I need you so damn bad
f**k you if you still not around.

Want To Love, Not Be Hated

2005-01-16T13:56:00.000+07:00

whaddup with da world?

I wanna see myself like others see me
so I can notice how I'm falling
so I can catch myself if I start to look like I'm gonna fall down

but I can't help it
everytime I try,
I always lose,
end up in myself trying to cure myself with my own power

I just can't fix everything
I am just hoping too much on myself

is there anybody who relies on me anyway???

I've grown my tree of sins alone
because I feel like I should know it better before I put another one

hate me,
feel free to hate me

I know I've done wrong to you
and I'm sorry,
so f**king sorry

will that mean a thing later on,
at the time when you found all of these out?
I leave that desicion on the desk
because I got my stomach full
I just love what I love

you will not send me away
from what I know I once loved
more over, if I still do love

and I still do

"...and I am, whatever you say I am..."

time to waste

2005-01-06T21:48:00.000+07:00

whaddup with da world?

yeah.. whassup?

I'm sick. it's like the time is waiting for me to do something but I don't know what to do and what I've got to do.
where should I be going to?
it sucks me in. and it kills me slowly.
darn it!

Stay Still Today

2005-01-03T11:18:00.000+07:00

whaddup with da world?

everyone.. happy new year!
hope we'll gonna have a better year than the one we have already left behind..

anyways, I'm good.
I've got nothing left to say.
I feel like I'm good.
because you know, this is just a beginning.

I have something and I won't give it up.
I'm sure about that.
for all the times that I went wrong,
I was told I shouldn't be like that.
*besides, I knew all along I was wrong*
and when I was lost,
I could easily find my way back home.

eventhough I still feel unwanted sometimes
and I don't want to feel sometimes
but I keep on playing those songs.
so, don't worry,
you're safe here inside.

everyone's looking the same
but I still can't see you.
am I safe there in yours?
guess it won't be the last time I wondering.
but you shall return and walk me home.
I mean, walk me home,
don't let me fall to pieces.
so I can put you right,
call you when I need.

screw everybody else,
I just want you to stay inside,
play this safe.
don't need to be here,
just be there with wide open arms.
don't go further away,
just further inside and warm me up.

---nice try,dude--

Anywhere But Home

2004-12-28T14:51:00.000+07:00

whaddup with da world?

study! study!!

oh.. c'mon.. just 2 more f**kin days....
nothing, nothing will be better than bleeding now.
b'cos you know you have to do this, grrll...
shoot.

----------
can't pretend that I'm alrite
----------
I kinda miss you.
but, hey, I kinda forgot about you...
I kinda like to know less about you,
and more about us.

ha ha ha....
it's true.
but trust me, I'm still here to listen.
just in case...
just in some other way of believing about the way you see me.
just in progress of regenerating the feeling when I first saw you.
I can't remember when you didn't close your eyes and left me behind.
but I can remember that you hate for being defeated.
me, too...
I don't like to lose.
I can't handle the truth that you won't even try for me.

I hate so much.
I hate about many things.
you, too..

I mean, you hate, too, rite?

nah..
sorry, I can'y be perfect.
I simply hate you rite now.
wish you would say something else matter.
wish you hadn't screwed everything in front of me, inside of me.

ha......
wonder why I did this writing...
don't take it seriously, I just knew you never will.

you shall be anywhere but home

and I shall be everywhere, all over the place.

Holydays Before Back To D'Exams

2004-12-23T21:56:00.000+07:00

whaddup with da world?

today is my last day to taste any relaxations!
I'm having my week full of exams, so, I have to study!
**I'll have 3 days--holydays begin tomorrow..**
and since it'll be the last exams in this semester, I have to work harder!
I have to! I ought to! I should!

ooh.. whateva.. I have to go now..
hope everythin okay in your world b'cos
M I N E' S G O O D. ^^
smell u l8ter.

Don't Wanna Think About YOU!!

2004-12-20T18:56:00.000+07:00

whaddup with da world?

Today is like.. whoa!! I got an oral test today, but I just.. blank! I couldn't mention the five basic principles a.k.a Pancasila in English!!! shoot!!!
it's like, "World, can you just swallow me rite now???"

I feel like nothing rite now.. I mean, for one term I've learned about it, and then, in the final, I couldn't mention it! even its first one?! for God's sake, I'm so stupid. I am.

know what, I hate to say this, but I guess the teacher was freak me out! she looked just like one of my teacha at school which I like no much, just less! she looked just like my "favorite" teacha. and she was a lil'bit of angry cos I came up late. nothing could ever conquer that absurd feeling of mine when I saw her face for the first time.. I was scared, I was hate, I was blank.. I was just great!

well, I should be at the ninth turn, but since my friends said that "She (that teacha) is scary..", no one wanted to come into the class. and I, yes, me, volunteered myself... no, I sacrificed myself.. then, I started to think that I was totally making the wrong decision to enter the room when I saw that teacher... she was... f**k, I don't want to remember it anymore..

shoot, I have to finish my chemistry homework.. or else I will see a similar face tomorrow...

"feeling so faithless, lost under the surface.."

PS: Still haven't found a way to get out. I'm just trying to remember who I can call...

One Midnite Sickness

2004-12-18T23:31:00.000+07:00

whaddup with da world?

I'm sick.
I should be in bed rite now, but I'm not.
and one song I love the most is being played in the radio; Love Song.
shit.
what nite could be worse?

I'm alone but not with you.
and you weren't there when I wanted you to come.
but you said that you would always be there.
and that is one thing came up in my mind at this time.

but nobody else can do like you.
I mean, take a look at you,
can you see yourself walking away?
but, anyways,
do you really want me to be there for you?
can you say it clearly?

I know you can't.
you won't be able to say it.
because you are so annoying.
ha ha..
nah,because one thing and another.
but whatever words you'd say,
I will always love you.
I'll love you in my own way.

we've played it clean all along,
and we've never dared to make love.
but I dared myself to love you up 'til this minute.
because I know you've dared yourself to say those words.

so, I don't give up my independence,
because I'll love you in my own way,
like the way you love me.

underground and behind the scene.
thus, nobody knows the whole story except us.
because you and I both love...

A Night To Think 'Bout The Knight

2004-11-15T23:18:00.000+07:00

whaddup with da world?
I am so happy today..
oh, by the way, my apologize because it has been awhile since the last time I posted my blog..
why do I write down in such small fonts? think it's better this way..
anyways, I just have been angry with my Mom. but it's over. thanks to one of my friend. he always says that he'll be there anytime I need him. and he has always been there til this time. so, thanks again to him.
two days again, I'm gonna be around a mountain. nah.. I mean, I will be at my villa for some holiday. I'm going back there. this time, I'll be with my cousins. guess, you know why I'm so happy.
you know, I've been thinking lately and came up with this thought..
why should I always think about something I shouldn't? know what I mean?
see, now, I'm in the middle of a relationship. but I'm not the one whose got that relationship. get it? got it? good...
somehow, I feel like I can't feel myself. I always have been playing around in troubles. I have my friends saying things like that to my ears. I can't deal with that attitude of mine. it's just me, who I am. that's why sometimes I can't feel myself, feel like I'm lost in my own body&soul. where is the real me? is it the real me?
I don't want any anwers. I know there'll be none. but then, it goes again, through my head.
somehow, do you think I'm stupid?
guess, I am stupid. but you can't judge me, I can't feel me so you can't be so sure about me. I'm an anomali. you can guess anything about me, and you will get a totally different result.
but I have got so much love. I have been talking with the air, the water, and also with the earth. this fire shall not leave me until the end of the time. it will always burn. whether it will be blue or red, it will burn you by its flame.
so, tonight, despite all of the consequences.. I've been wishing that I could be in the corner of his head, when things finally met the standard that he set.
but, what do you think?
should I? could I?

right now, I feel like I have a sunshine after the rain, a knight to chase my fears away.
whether it's mine, or not. for once, I don't care. because he doesn't mind.
yea.. somehow, he stands still. that's why I'm thankful.

dude, how come I feel such feeling like this? it's like, I'm spoiled!
I guess I need that special kind of something because I don't want to be alone..
I have something to give, to share.. but still I can't explain what kind, why, to who...
do you have it? does he have it?

oh, do I mind?
guess I do. he he...

so, smell u l8ter. thanks for reading this. go blog! ^^

Don't Go Tellin On Him..

2004-10-28T21:37:00.000+07:00

whaddup with da world?

know what, something's just going out of the way..

I'm trapped.

that's all I can say for now.
smell u l8ter.

Whom To Understand Me?

2004-10-14T10:33:00.000+07:00

whaddup with da world?
it's good to be ourselves. moreover if we understand what we really want.
in these days, it's really what I'm looking for.
I don't need much of anything from anyone. a little but nice would be fun.
it would be good. and I would be glad.
but guess, it can't be that easy.

something just isn't right
I can feel it inside
the truth isn't far behind me
you can't deny
when I turn the lights out
when I close my eyes
reality overcomes me
I'm living a lie

when I'm alone I feel so much better
when I'm around you I don't feel it

sometimes you just have to be alone.
but for me, it's killing me inside it it takes a long time being alone
where's everybody?
ha ha.. no, everyone's here. resting in peace in the bottom of my heart.
know what, he *the one I told you before* has drowned in silence for the past few days.
guess it's fair for us since I don't know what I want from him.
maybe he's just not.
ya know, just not.
he he...

smell u l8ter

Aquarian talks..

2004-10-12T17:17:00.000+07:00

how's life, everyone? missing me much? he he..
life's good.. life's bad.. everything's spinning around like crazy everyday and I'm still the one left out with questions.. or, are you, too?

Everytime I feel alone, I can blame it on you
and I do
You got me a like a loaded gun, golden sun,
and the sky's so blue
We both know, that we want it
but we both know, you left me no choice

*everytime you walked away*
you just bring me down
*I pretend that I'm okay*
so I'm counting my tears
til I get over you

Sometimes I watch the world go by
I wonder what it's like
to wake up every single day
smile on your face
You never try

We both know we can't change it
but we both know we'll just have to face it

If only I could give you up
but would I want to let you off of this soapbox, baby?

We both know that I'm not over you
I'm not over you

taken from the album 'Hotel Paper' by Michelle Branch, titled "'Til I Get Over You"...
what a song that comes to my heart nowadays..
because of my mistake of hoping, or it's just me whom thinking too much?
who knows?
God knows.
we don't.
that's just how the game's always being played.
so, it feels like I've just lost my reason for breathing. ha ha..
nah.. not that bad. it's not that bad. really.

it's just bad. damn bad.

hope u'll get a brighter mind&soul of everything.
most of on ur love life.
oh.. please.. understand that we're just in these aquarian times....

smell u l8ter.

I Am Young But Unwell...

2004-10-08T23:59:00.000+07:00

World... I'm sorry... I was just too lazy to write down all of my happiness and sorrow..

these past few days of mine were so difficult. but then, God is really there because I saw my happiness lied in the end of the road.
I was confused. I felt neglected. and I still feel alone.
I am dreaming about those words which will never come to me.
I am sitting beyond my cloudy sky and will never happy to leave.

----------------
enuf!! talk about reality, gurl!
jadi.. beberapa hari belakangan ini.. perempuan yang satu ini sedang menghadapi apa yang dinamakan dengan CLBK alias cinta lama bersemi kembali.... ha ha ha... *geez.. I'm laughing at myself..*
so, this is the story so far..
gue berhubungan dengan seorang cowok. eh.. tepatnya dua orang! he he.. mereka berdua adalah nerdy yang gue sayangi dengan sepenuh hati. *jangan salah! soalnya hati gue emang ngga cuma setengah!*
trus.. tibalah saatnya.. gue mengetahui bahwa ternyata gue adalah orang yang juga 'ada' di dalam kehidupan mereka namun dgn keadaan yg tdk jelas..
sama yg satu, gue dibilang jadian. padahal ga. cuma karena gue bisa deket aja ma dia yg sering bertingkah aneh *padahal menurut gue, dia sangat normal!*
sama yg satu lagi,, ntahlah.. gue bingung ngomongnya. dibilang temenan, iya. HTSan, dianya pernah ngrasa gitu *dia! bukan gue!*. sahabatan, au dah..

tapi...

ha .... gue sekarang ngga mau mikirin lagi ttg itu. gue mau nikmatin aja apa yg ada di depan gue.
gue mungkin udah kehilangan hal2 di luar itu. keluarga gue, sodara2 gue, sahabat2 gue..
ya.. walaupun sahabat2 gue ngga ada yg nganggap gue.. gue mungkin emang udah begitu jauhnya sama mereka. sampe ngga ada yg nganggep gue masih perlu mereka untuk nanyain kabar gue. sampe mereka punya kabar apapun, gue ngga pernah dikasihtau. gue ngga butuh yg macem2 dari mereka. cuma gue butuh mereka utk cerita. ngga usah gue yg cerita, tapi gue mau dengerin mereka cerita walaupun cerita mereka ngebosenin ato apalah. tapi, ngga ada yg masih butuh gue!!! *kok, gue jadi gini ya?*
ah..entahlah.. kenapa gue jadi sedih gini ya? gue ngga bisa cerita ini sama siapa2. gue ngga mau negbebanin mereka. yang paling penting, gue ngga mau makasa mereka. kalo emang mereka dateng ke gue, itu karunia Tuhan buat gue. tapi kalo ngga, berarti emang gue udah buka orang baik lagi.
dan gue rasa gue masuk golongan yg kedua.

ah.. udah ah..
gue sedih nulisnya..

so..
smell u l8ter..

I'm Walking Upon My Wavy Black Thread

2004-09-07T21:47:00.000+07:00

"you are my only one..
I let go.. there's just no one who gets me like you do..
you are my only, my only one..."

the song played in my room is filling my thoughts.
I feel like a mess for putting everything aside and do what I want, not what's necessary.
I feel like giving up from the thing that brought me up
but not in these kind of days

maybe I was a fool for letting him go too far inside my mind, my soul, my life
but..
while some people didn't buy your words, he did
while no one talked even about themselves, he did
while nobody spoke to me in the crowds, he did
but they are not enough

world would never be perfect. nor would I. nor would him.
but I tried. I knew he too. and perhaps, the world just did its job.

perhaps I'll be feeling pain
but I still have got to go
further and away
leaving everything behind
pushing every memories aside
tearing my very heart to stay alive
in the world that's sometimes failed..
just like walking upon your wavy black thread..

Where's My Sunshine?

2004-09-06T21:52:00.000+07:00

it's been long since my last post..
I'm in a test-week or what so-called it is..
tomorrow I'll have Biology of which I don't understand at all! guess I'll have to sleep in the mornin'..
I've just watched a movie called Andai Ia Tahu for the second time. now, I'm wondering about "intuition".

what is "intuition"?
where does it come from?
what should we do with it?

oh.. to hell with it. I just need a cup of hot chocolate and sleep.
tomorrow's still a test day. wish me luck, whoever you are.
see you. sooner,better.

"Don't hide away..
'Cause I know that you've got what it takes
I believe you can be what you wanna be.."

Running Words of Thoughts

2004-09-01T22:36:00.000+07:00

...
later on, on night that never will end,
perhaps you will tell me your happiness

one moment, suppress the speeding light,
perhaps time will stop, so you'll be here

in despite of taking you for granted,
I will always make sure it's OK,
if I make sure you're OK, to the world

in despite of catching you secretly,
I will always try to hold my breath
so you will never leave, until I can breathe

once, I dreamt, moreover about you,
that was never too far, just way too fast
there are uncontrolled tears, unbelievable moments
also unspoken question, undecided feeling
those mark you, my untouchable torch
for I couldn't keep you near, have you with me

fly these words away and you still won't fade
locked inside, being kept safe underneath
perhaps I would be staring at you
like the way you're gazing to your bliss

how I really wish to see you find your happiness,
your infinite tomorrow, that will bind your sorrow.
actual date:083104

well,, just a thought of mine.. just when I couldn't fly away..

I'll Love You Tomorrow

2004-08-28T22:56:00.000+07:00

I'm human enough to learn a lesson.but maybe I can't breath and it makes me weak.this night when I couldn't hear the voice,I could hardly learn a lesson.that maybe you and me, we are...

today, my thoughts... apa yang bisa gw ceritain ya? baru setengah jam yang lalu mobil putih yang gw naikin masuk ke dalam garasi. me and parents went out. kita jalan-jalan City Walk di Dharmawangsa Square. and you know what, di sana rame banget.. banyak seleb yang -maaf- gw ga tau namanya. gw sih ga peduli.

pas gw nyampe di sana dan nyari parkir di basement, itu mobil putih yang gw naikin kayaknya jadi pusing. nyari parkir atau masuk labirin ya? abisnya, parkir basemennya tuh aneh banget. kayak lomba "temukan jalan keluarnya" yang ada di buku-buku anak TK.

anyway, gw akhirnya di sana cuma makan aja. di sebuah restoran yang judulnya Sumpit. sampe sekarang gw merasa sayang udah ninggalin segelas ice green tea yang cuma abis setengah. gw ngga bisa minum ampe abis karena itu dingin banget. mustinya gw minta ice green tea yang ngga dingin aja.

after that, me and my parents walked around. dan tiba-tiba aja nyokap gw berhenti di tengah jalan.

me : kenapa?

my mom : Indonesian I**l...

ternyata saudara-saudara setanah air maupun sedunia, nyokap gw berhenti cuma gara-gara di salah satu restoran yang ada TVnya, nyiarin salah satu ajang cari bakat tsb. tiba-tiba gw pusing.
belum abis pusing gw, nyokap gw buru-buru jalan.

me : tunggu, tunggu dong.. kenapa sih?

my mom : pulang yuk.. mama mau nonton In-D*l..

ha ha... gw cuma bisa gelang-gelang. maksudnya geleng-geleng kepala.

akhirnya kita turun ke basement menuju mobil berwarna putih. tiba-tiba, dari sebelah kiri, ada sebuah mobil yang parkir di sebelah mobil putih gw. sebuah Subaru silver berspoiler mantab dan mufler tip yang sperti tornado or what-so-ever-called it is..

mobil itu dengan mulusnya masuk dan berhenti. ga ampe sepersekian menit, yang nyupir keluar. co umur 20an. dengan nggak ngeliat lagi ke mobil, abis nutup pintu langsung jalan dengan santai melenggang buana menuju pintu masuk DS.

sedangkan bokap gw kalo keluar dari mobil abis parkir tuh bisa lamanya amit-amit. padahal dalam mobil warna putih itu tidak ada bagian yang spesial, malah tisunya dah abis dan bantalnya semakin tipis..

barusan di rumah tmn gw mati lampu. untung di rumah gw ngga..

well, shit happens. the world never seems to be perfect. neither do I. so, cheers up! maybe the world will love me tomorrow. and maybe you, too...

First Time, First Look

2004-08-26T21:49:00.000+07:00

so, this is my first time here.. with a little *but huge* help from my 'lovely' friend out there somewhere in her house, finally this is my own blog..

currently, I'm on a project to write about my autobiography. and I'm really at my wit's end. just one question:

what am I going to write about?

when everybody else still remembers his or her own childhood, I could hardly remember mine. so I dunno what to write. I can't see my beginning. should I leave it blank? ha ha..

anyway, I'm sorry for my boring blog. it's just..this is my first time writing this thing. so, I get a little cold feet though.

guess, my first hello will end up here. I'll write more.

[so little time, so much to be done]